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COLUMN: John Striker’s Seize The Day IV Predictions!

January 26, 2011 · Print This Article

Hello fans and welcome once again to the greatest thing to happen to CLASH Wrestling since the wrestling, Pillar to Post! As always, I am your venerable wordsmith, your stupefying luminary of belletristic erudition (Look it up kids, it’ll do you some good!), John Striker. Today’s Pillar to Post will, like the last star-studded edition, lack the familiar feel of a traditional Pillar to Post. Expand your minds and embrace the change.

This week, I’ll be predicting the winners to CLASH’s biggest event, Seize the Day IV. It’s worth repeating that I’m the only person this side of the Mason-Dixon line to correctly predict that Tyler Elkins would capture the CLASH Championship at last year’s Seize The Day. I also am the foremost expert on “The Curse of the CLASH Championship” having first discovered the evil pattern and having researched it extensively. The bottom line: when I predict things, you’d better listen to what I have to say! Let’s take a look at the scheduled matches:

#1 Contenders Fatal Four Way: The H3RD vs. Sons of Sanity vs. Wreckingforce vs. Victorious Secret
This is a very tough match to call. The H3RD have the mastermind Tommy Treznik behind them. Sons Of Sanity (Malice & O’Malley) are looking to establish themselves as a tag team and stepping up at Seize the Day would really put them on the map. Wreckingforce was a great tag team in the past, and have the biggest two guys in CLASH Wrestling. Victorious Secret have been in the thick of the tag team division for some time now, and is a well established tag team in their own right. It’s a tough call, but I have to go with the team that has the most chance of “outside” assistance.
Pick: The H3RD via pinfall.

CLASH Tag Team Championship: Too Sweet vs. Bump N’ Uglies
The Bump N’ Uglies have shown that they’re willing to do whatever it takes to win back those titles. They’ve turned their backs on the fans, their friends, and possibly even Mama Ugly. That being said, the Tag Team Champions are beyond red hot right now, and I don’t think they’re able to be extinguished yet.
Pick: Too Sweet retains via pinfall.

Antidote Ladder Match: Tommy Treznik vs. Dave Manzo
I’m not entirely sure how this match will work, but I don’t think that any amount of superhero strength will prevent Treznik from winning this one. Don’t get me wrong, I think Manzo is certainly capable of beating Treznik any night of the week, but just as in the tag team number one contender’s match, the H3RD will be in Treznik’s corner, ready to overcome anything Manzo can throw at them, including super strength.
Pick: Tommy Treznik via forcing Manzo to drink the antidote.

Grudge Match: Tyler Elkins vs. Cameron Skyy
This is the match I am personally most looking forward to seeing. These two have a rich and storied history. Friends, competitors, enemies, and it’s finally all coming to a head. Tyler Elkins has always been in Skyy’s shadow, an afterthought. It’s always been Cameron Skyy and HIS friend, Tyler Elkins, not Elkin’s friend Skyy. As great a competitor as Skyy is, he’s also more likely to show compassion for Elkins, a sympathy for the situation that their divergent paths have caused. Elkins will be fierce and determined. I’m picking the victory of the shadow over the man.
Pick: “Caveman” Tyler Elkins via submission.

1 Year in the Making: Mena Libra vs. Truth Martini
This match is going to be a huge disappointment to so many fans in CLASH Wrestling. That’s not to say that it won’t be entertaining, even competitive maybe, but people actually think that Mena Libra has a chance of defeating CLASH CEO Truth Martini. Sorry people, but reality, the truth, is going to set in at Seize the Day. While Mena has been an entertaining wrestler, and holds victories over several independent women wrestlers, she has only once stepped into the ring with someone as talented as Truth Martini. That match ended in GQ defeating her. Truth Martini is a world class athlete and a great wrestler. End of story.
Pick: Truth Martini via pinfall.

CLASH Championship: X-Pac vs. Gavin Quinn
Everyone’s psyched to see X-Pac at Seize the Day and I’m certainly looking forward to seeing the unique style and offense he brings with him. X-Pac has been everywhere and done it all. What he’s not going to be able to do, however, is defeat GQ. I know, you’re skeptical, but Quinn is CLASH Champion for a reason. He is on top of his game, and on top of the wrestling world. There’s no way I can imagine him letting himself lose that belt, yet alone to an “outsider”. Gavin Quinn is far too stubborn, and far too strong willed to let himself lose that belt. I am tempted to pick X-Pac via DQ or Count-Out, but I’m going to put my faith in our champion instead.
Pick: Gavin Quinn via Pinfall.

So there you have it, it’s practically in stone. I’m never wrong, so why start now? If you think I’m wrong on any of these matches, you’ll have your chance to prove me wrong on Saturday! See you at Seize the Day IV!
John Striker